Chapter 14 of Dasein's Journal: A Collection Of Philosophical Thought (FOR FREE)

Meditation on Love

Today I will urge you to meditate on certain paradoxes present in the notion of love. First of all, there is the paradox of being with someone who makes you a better person, but also being with a person that accepts the darkest parts of yourself.  Next, loving someone in the moment is different from loving someone with the goal of building something together in the future, yet the specific difference between these two kinds of love must be determined if we aspire to understand love in general. Furthermore, since love is an emotion and all emotions are temporal, this leads us to the meditation of the link between love and temporality. Knowing that all love comes to an end, whether this is through the end of a relationship or the end of one's life, we become aware of the importance of understanding love before it ends and before our own  life or that of our loved ones’ end.

It is important to mention that there exists platonic love and romantic love, which are two different types of love, yet seem to overlap. The death or absence of one of these types of love within a relationship does not necessarily mean the death and absence of the other. The notion of love becomes cloudier as we contemplate the difference between attraction and love. With the assumption that certain characteristics can be developed in order to become more attractive, we must also ask if certain characteristics can be developed in order to be more loving and more lovable. It is important to mention that attraction does not always lead towards healthy loving relationships, yet a base level of attraction must be present in order for a romantic relationship to not only survive, but also thrive.

In a purely masculine point of view, men must deal with a paradox of their own gender and that of loving another person. This paradox has three parts, all of which relate to the challenges present in loving another person and being loved by another person. First, there is the balance of being both dominant and tender towards one’s partner. Next, there is the balance between putting a man’s life purpose above all, while still caring and loving his partner. Finally, modern men share a paradoxical choice in establishing a romantic relationship, which is also present in the life primitive men, as both must have a certain level of abundance in the choice of mating partners while also having to choose to be with the one that they deem worthy and the best romantic candidate.

It is clear that the notion of love is learnt, meaning that from birth and with the familial education, the child is already predisposed to having a specific understanding and definition of love. This understanding continues to develop throughout adulthood as each relationship offers certain insights into the definition of love, through reference experiences. This means that a person lacking in experience of falling in love and being loved has less of an understanding of love in general. In other words, less a person experiences the act loving another and being loved by another, less this person will be able to love and be loved. The importance of experiencing a variety of loving relationships becomes highlighted here and these experiences are of utmost importance for the person searching for the ideal relationship that he/she requires in his/her life, which will not only benefit themselves but will also benefit their partner.

In conclusion, I would be lying if I were to state that I understand the complexity of love in general, yet I am thankful for all experiences and insights that were given to me through past and present relationships, not exclusive to romantic relationships, but also including familial and platonic. Each and every one of these experiences of loving and being loved has brought me closer to the revelation of the meaning of love in general. For me, the meaning of love in general is as important as the figuring out the meaning of being in general. 

If you enjoyed what you read, you can purchase a paperback or kindle copy of my book, Dasein's Journal: A Collection of Philosophical Thought from my author page at www.amazon.com/author/philario . I am currently offering a discount, the paperback is only $8.50USD now (original price is $12.40USD) but this deal will only last until June 5th (You only have one day left), so grab your copy today! (go go go!) 

Anyway, have an great weekend, you guys are awesome!

-Dasein the Philosopher